wildrose

Honor thy parents!!

2012-01-29T09:47:00.002+04:00

Today is my mom's birthday and there are no words to express how much I miss her. She went home to be with the Lord almost 3 years before.When she was living, I never thought, not even in my wildest imagination that I will be without my mom in a very young age itself. So I just took her role in my life as granted and never expressed my love, care, respect and affection for which I am deeply regretting . My regret is for the thoughts I had that time, procrastinating my duty to show my love and affection to my parents. I always thought a time will come, when I can repay all the love and care they showered on me. In fact, both my parents didn't wait for that, they both died much before the specified time I kept for honoring them.

This pain of mine is an intense call to every child, to honor your father and mother, no matter how old you are, where you are, what situation you are in.... As the Bible urges us in Exodus 20:12, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days maybe long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you".

I know I wont get a chance again to tell my parents, how much I love them. Now in this world, when I enjoy all the blessings and comfort which God has granted me with, I give thanks to my God , for letting me had such wonderful parents. Every blessing that I have in my life, I owe to my parent's prayers and to their attitude forsaking all the luxuries and comforts for their children's sake. Honor thy parents.....

I MISS YOU!!

2012-01-25T21:00:00.002+04:00

Apple of your eye

2011-08-20T22:52:00.002+04:00

When your eyes meet mine..
I realise how secure I am ..
I see me in your eyes..
You have locked me as apple of your eye!!

Betrayed

2011-06-06T11:49:00.002+04:00

Once I promised my heart..
That I will never betray her..
No matter what others offer,
Love, affection or comfort..
But I confess my companion…
With tears, yes.. I betrayed you again..
I was melted in that love ,
That love I got when I betrayed you…
But now, that love has become stale,
Won’t you come back my soul, my heart…
I promise, I assure that I will never
Ever betray you for love….

Voyager

2011-02-21T15:17:00.002+04:00

My heart is like a angry, deep ocean..
And my dreams like a voyager.
Desprate to reach the other shore,
Waiting for the storms to calm and the waves to settle,
To glide across to the castles of future and hope.

Pain

2010-10-18T15:41:00.002+04:00

Two days before, met one of my online friends, and obviously we were very eager to find out more about each other. So in between he said, “My mother- in – law has a terrible disease, Alzheimer’s “. In a fraction of second, my eyes welled up with tears. I was thinking about my mom, who was a victim of the same sickness and now resting in peace. “Yes”, I thought aloud and continued “it is the one of the terrible disease any person can have”. Even though our conversations touched so many aspects of life and world, somewhere in the corner of my heart, a pain was lingering. Usually when any sort of emotions lurk in my mind, I slowly withdraw to myself to a corner of a room, and try to pour out these through my pen.
Two and a half years before, I was diagnosed with poly cystic ovaries, and doctor suggested a surgery. He also suggested that along with this surgery they can remove my appendix also which was at that time, if continued anymore inside my body will surely become a threat to my life. I was quite amused, to have two purposes served in one shot…So packed my bags to go to India, getting mentally prepared for my surgery. Moreover it was my best buddy’s marriage, so everything seemed to fall in, as and how I desired. In my life, plans were always overtaken by surprises. This time also, huge surprises, rather I should say array of huge surprises were waiting for me. I reached India, and had a good time with my best buddy and also attended his wedding.
My next plan was to get myself admitted in hospital, but to my surprise the doctor who was supposed to do my surgery was booked for the next one month. Now, tension started mounting, I have to find out a new Doctor, new hospital everything and that too I was not sure I could perform everything alone. In between, I had a plan to take to my mom to my house who was in rehabilitation centre for Alzheimer’s patients. As my plans were not working out, I thought maybe I should take my mom home and then slowly I can think about my surgery.
Things were not easy as I thought. Journey to my house from this rehab centre takes almost 10 – 11 hours by car. My heart sank as I saw her, she was violent like a mad woman and moreover she reached a stage where she couldn’t recognize me also. As I tried to hold her, she started crying, thinking that I am going to do some harm to her. I leaned on the wall of her room and sobbed silently. I was thinking how I will take her all the way to my house; this journey will surely be a difficult one. I prayed, that’s all I could do, I prayed that my mom will be calm and peaceful and we started the journey at about 10 P.M. My mom was awake throughout the journey till we reached our destination next day morning at about 7.A.M. On the way prayed again and again and reminded God that I am very young to handle these kinds of situations. It was a terrible experience any daughter can have in her life. I thought maybe God will not answer any issues pertaining to Alzheimer’s.
As she couldn’t recognize me, she considered me as a stranger whenever I tried drawing near to her. Whenever I tried to hug her, make her walk, feed her, she yelled at me. She was not eating anything for the last 10 days or so and it was mountainous task to feed her. I was worried; I need to save my mom I thought. That evening I went out, brought all her favorite food, including ice cream and chocolates and what not. I was trying to feed her some ice cream, after 2-3 spoons, I thought this idea of mine is working ..she is eating. Suddenly in a minute her mood changed, she refused to eat more. I was trying to make her eat more and without warning she became violent and started beating me. She scratched my hands and face and blood was coming out from those wounds especially from my hand. More than physical pain it was that mental agony I went through, words can never express it. I was sitting on a chair, in the veranda, asking God again; “won’t you ever hear my prayers?” After five minutes, I saw my mom slowly walking towards me. She was crying and me too… I thought she is for definite going to beat me again. I didn’t run away or try to budge from the chair. But as she walked towards me, I stood up. She came near me, put both her hands on my shoulders, as if she was resting on me and said “Baby, I am not well, I am undergoing terrible pain”. The moment she finished that sentence, she took her hands off my shoulders and walked back crying.
God gave her sound mind of 3 seconds, and made her recognize who I was for her. That day I called the doctor, because now I understood why she was acting so violent, she was undergoing pain. Next day morning, when the ambulance came to take her to hospital, she was fighting with everyone, not to take her to hospital. Her argument was, once she gets admitted in the hospital; she won’t be coming back alive. She was true, after a month or so, she passed away and that too in my presence she took her last breath.
I am glad, I could give her whatever I can at least during the few last days of her life. Now, I miss her terribly, but I thank God every day, for that few seconds, where she came to me and recognized me again. Yes, God did really answer my prayer and He gave me strength to go through all these dark days of my life.

Giving way

2010-10-07T10:10:00.001+04:00

There is
No night without a day,
No moon without the sun and
No rainbow without a rain

But…
Night has to leave when day comes,
Moon and Sun cannot dwell together
And rain has to stop for rainbow to gleam..

This is how we are.. my beloved..
There is no ME without a YOU
We never can merge with each other, but
Can only give way for each other endlessly..

Ant

2010-09-04T14:55:00.005+04:00

Often I feel like an ant on a leaf,
floating above the fast flowing stream..
It's all green and live, with no other soul around,
But when I lean out, I shudder realizing,
that the stream is bearing my destiny..

U & Me

2010-06-24T23:30:00.003+04:00

I......
I am.....
I am living....
I am living for...
I am living for U...
I am so alive.....

You.....................
You are.................
You are living..........
You are living for ......
You are living for me....
You are so alive.........

You ............................
I ..............................
I and You form WE................
We are living...................
We are living for each other.....
We are thus alive...........

Want

2010-06-01T18:27:00.004+04:00

You didn’t quite comprehend me,
I don’t need your hug, kiss, comfort or touch,
I want you near me, a breath away
So that I can grip your hands tight
and rest my weary face on your shoulders might

Cry of a woman..

2010-05-22T12:25:00.001+04:00

She left her home, her family and knowingly
replaced the colors of youth with scars of burden
She didn’t disappoint her parents who looked her
With expectant eyes..Yes hunger and nakedness is real…
“I need to survive” she thought among all the odds..
And to feed the hungry bellies..She is now in a strange land..
How to live, where to go…whom to speak.. in this world
Where money comes before love and care..she fought…
Yes…among the people with selfish motives… convinced
Here, it is money and power that gives you all..

Time slid by, hunger was quenched and poverty eradicated
Her family once, who made sky as the blanket and pavement as their bed,
Is now having shelter, tidiness, knowledge and independence
Conveniently she is forgotten, yes by her own beloveds..
Truth struck like a spear, she realized she is alone..
Her heart craved and melted for intimacy and love..
Only to find a stranger slowly becoming everything to her
She rewrote in her heart walls, love comes before money
Love ruled her heart and it was only love and love..
Her world is blissful she thought and smiled…

Fear gripped her, when she sensed a life inside her..
Her calls were all rejected, again days of loneliness..
In the dark, she shredded with fear..Awed at her destiny
She yelled till her heart tore and pangs of pain ripped
her body …till she heard the cry of her child…
Her joy now had no limits… found a reason to live..
But joy didn’t last for long..she was condemned in that strange land..
It was all out of love..that was what all she knew..
When they ripped her child from her bosom…
She rewrote in her heart again..yes money is greater than love…

a post from did annual meet blog

2010-05-19T22:17:00.001+04:00

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

എന്റെ വൈല്‍ഡ് റോസ് സുന്ദരി

സുഷാ ജോര്‍ജ്ജ്...ദുബായ് എന്ന വിസ്മയ നഗരത്തിലെ ഒരു ‘ബിസിനസ്സ് കണ്സലറ്റന്റ് .സാമൂഹികമായ പല സംരംഭങ്ങളിലും മുന്‍കയ്യെടുക്കാന്‍ വളരെ സമര്‍ത്ഥ .ഈ പായിപ്പാട്ടുകാരിയുടെ സ്വതവേയുള്ള, ദയ, കരുണ, സ്നേഹം എല്ലാം അനുഭവിച്ചറിയുന്നഭര്‍ത്താവ് ജോണ്‍ ,സുഷയുടെ എല്ലാ പ്രവര്‍ത്തനങ്ങള്‍ക്കും പൂര്‍ണ്ണ പിന്തുണ നല്കുന്നു.ബാംഗ്ളൂര്‍ നഗരത്തിലെ വിദ്യാഭ്യാസം,എല്ലാത്തരക്കാരോടും ഒരേവിധത്തില്‍ പെരുമാറാനുള്ള വ്യക്തിത്വം നേടാന്‍ സുഷയെ സഹായിച്ചിരിക്കാം.എന്തുകൊണ്ടും ഒരു നല്ലമനസ്സിന്റെ ഉടമ.

ഡാഫോഡിത്സ്’ എന്ന ഒരു ഗ്രൂപ്പിന്റെ ആവിഷ്ക്കാരത്തില്‍ മുന്‍ കൈയ്യെടുത്തപ്പോള്‍ ,കുറെ നല്ല സുഹൃദ് വലയം ഉണ്ടാക്കിയെടുക്കാം എന്നു മത്രമേ കരുതിയുള്ളു. അതൊരു വലിയ യാഹൂ ഗ്രൂപ്പായി വളര്‍ന്നപ്പോള്‍ സന്തോഷം തോന്നി, അതിലേറെ,കൃതാര്‍ഥതയും.‍പതുക്കെ പതുക്കെ , മെംബര്‍മാര്‍ കൂടി.... ദുബായ് വിട്ട് അടുത്ത GCC യിലേക്ക് ,ക്ഷണക്കത്തുകള്‍ പോയി. ഏറ്റം ആദരവോടെ അതില്‍ക്കൂടിതല്‍ സന്തോഷത്തൊടെ, എല്ലവരും, തന്നെ ഗ്രൂപ്പില്‍ ചേര്‍ന്നു. ദുബായിലും,മറ്റു GCC യിലുമുള്ള ഒട്ടുമുക്കാലും, മലയാളികള്‍ ഈ സമൂഹത്തില്‍ മെംബര്‍മാരാണ്.
അങ്ങനെ ഇതാ സുഷയുടെ ബ്ലൊഗ്

Solitude ..............had many meanings for her,from one of Susha George's English Poems

I plunged deep deep into the sea,
To hide my face, myself from familarity,
One step away from the deepest deep,
I smiled, thinking about my solitude
But was welcomed by beings,
They plunged before me!!!!

Rain..

2010-04-21T23:29:00.001+04:00

From the moment I realized the fact, that you are miles away from me,
And nothing can convince you about the love I had for you,
I waited for the rain, heavy rains to strike this world
With its power to rinse and wipe away my tears.

Wandering in the rain, wanting to be drenched, to tear off your thoughts,
I stood against its strength, my desire was to slash you from my soul..
I felt spiky and thorny water droplets piercing my heart,
if I did cry, my tears were blended with the shower.

The downpour stopped, and when the clouds drifted away..
My heart was aching, It’s not the thorny droplets which were hurting me..
It was the dent that formed in my soul, where once your love and thoughts were placed...
I looked up to spot the rainbow, but saw your face smiling with much radiance.

Solitude

2010-01-20T11:54:00.003+04:00

Crazy!!!

2009-11-02T15:23:00.001+04:00

My mobile phones only ring for:

Ji..good morning, do you know where Citibank is located?
Chech…I need some money urgently, how much you have with you?
Ma..I have a friend who is looking for a job, can you please recommend?
Sush.. I need an investor… can you please put a word to your clients?
Hey Buddy! I have a flight at 4..Can you please drop me at the airport?
Susha…this week is my driving test and you know that this is the 5th trial…….
……….Did you manage to speak to that guy??
Hi baby…I am broken…I need to speak with you..I know you will have a solution…
Hey where did you buy that outfit from..? Can you please take me to that shop today?
Hi, did you find how much is the market rate for Blackberry?
Can you please take my document also…I know you visit there often…
You don’t know I got married last week..why don’t you invite us for dinner?

These are all my loved ones and so called friends…

My mobile phones never ring for….

I was thinking about you and hence gave you a buzz…
The other day I saw you in the hospital…are you ok?
I know you miss your parents…can I spend some time with you..
I didn’t see you in church yesterday. Is everything ok with you..
I heard from him, that recession has hit you badly…please call me
in case you need a helping hand..
I know you car is broken..I am anyways going that side..need a lift?
Hey, that call of yours really helped..thanks a lot…
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

So I have concluded that my clients are better than my friends..
They demand…not out of love…but for my efficiency…
Though love factor is missing often in their conversations….
I am satisfied…. I am paid for each minute I spend for them!!
Now grant me God, the gift to silence my cell phones and to
Muddle through my world deprived of love and care..

Time has come!!

2009-11-02T08:35:00.003+04:00

That time has come..
The time to reveal...
The time to reveal myself and within me..
You always wondered why my
cry was soundless and I could only mumble
and why my tears were melted in the rains..

My time has come..time to sing..
Now the world will soon know...
that the irritant which was deep inside me
Has transformed into a glistening lil pearl...

Still waters

2009-06-13T11:34:00.002+04:00

When I realized it was years later...
That I am standing in the deep..
In the deepest deep...amazingly I was motionless
It was not flowing waters...still waters all around me..
But then when I saw, I am not drowning,
Slowly swimming, making the river flow.

Red rain

2009-02-23T15:44:00.001+04:00

My heart is full of clouds, black
Which are filled with droplets..
They seem heavy, cannot contain any more
When it started showering, it rained red..

My mighty chariot!!

2008-12-03T14:32:00.000+04:00

Sometimes I feel that my chariot is pulled back
By thousands of mighty horses..
They show their mighty power and strength
By pulling me back no matter how swift I am…

Each day I feel I grow weary and tired
I now have to accelerate more, add more vigor
My journey to fortune seems to be long..
But I am way near to my goal, I will soon attain..

Little do these horses know, which sometimes pull me back
That the bridle and the bit are clutched by my hands,
They soon have to obey me, lest they will fall..
And that hope leads my chariot forth with might..

Me and mine!

2008-09-27T20:33:00.009+04:00

In my dictionary of life, words were
arranged not in the order of priorities,
But in the order of love...

I dared to change it, the order of my
life,

It was you, yours, me and mine but now
it is me, mine, you and yours!!

You n Me

2008-09-03T18:58:00.000+04:00

Did you forget…

That I was the oil of your midnight lamp?

Salt of your tears and warmth of your gasp?

Sole might for your triumph?

And the melody of your song?

I stepped back so that you became first,

Snuffed my dreams off so yours will be attained,

When life slid off like a fast flowing stream..

You were my past, my present and my future.

Now…

You are in great heights, your dreams accomplished

This world realize your name and you bask in glory

Recently, our eyes never lock nor our hands clasp..

Heart throbs for you have now turned into aching

I need you now to pick me up, I am plunged..

To gather me I am scattered in the wind..

To dream together and to sail together

To our castle of future across the river.

Broken Melody

2008-07-15T19:51:00.000+04:00

My song has lost its melody and my tone its luster
All I could create is murmurs and sighs
My gaze to my destiny seems endless and tiring
Life is aching like an eagle’s rebirth.

I have heights to soar, but my wings are broken
My nest in the cliff is shuddered by huge waves
Hope that my smoking lamp will again glow
Now seems to waver and snuff out in the wind.

Take me on your wings; I can soar along with you,
Sing along with me; my silence won’t be celebrated.
Share your dream with me; my destiny will be clear
My symphony of life will thus be sung again..

Walls are breaking ..

2008-05-01T17:43:00.000+04:00

Walls around me are breaking
Path to my dream is less sturdy
I can see the door to my freedom
Darkness around me is disappearing

Yes, its the ray of my hope which is gleaming
It is getting brighter like the morning star
A hope that my feeble voice will one become strong
And my unspoken words will be mightily proclaimed

Little did I know that my lamp was shining
My lamp of wish and dream and ecstasy
It was kept behind the wall, darkness overwhelmed it
Now, my lamp of life lits up with endless hope

It will not snuff off, will shine against the wind
My destiny is clear, I can see the light
Castles are made and my wings are growing
Though miles to go, will reach because I am decided..

Lost Friend

2008-03-04T15:48:00.000+04:00

Mate! Do you remember the promises and vows we took?
When we felt that our paths are heading to the same destination…
When there was no ray of hope for our future
But only hurdles in every path that we took..

Now that fate made you to take another path..
No more the comforting touch of your hand..
Or assuring presence during the weary journey and
Your absence makes my voyage tough and forlorn

A well wish, silent prayer, a quick note or a smile
That’s all I expect from you when you think about me..
They say expectations always disappoint one, and
It seems to be true when your silence seems to be eternal.

Withered Flower !!

2008-01-07T11:09:00.001+04:00

Peace…Peace…only word repetitively heard..

Peace in the west and peace in the east..

Lo! It’s now become a parade of mockery!

It’s nothing but selfishness and pride taking the form of pacts.

Ah! That flower is now withered and perished..

It was then full bloomed and pride of that garden..

It was significant in its color and fragrance..

Alas! It was plucked from its stem and crushed on the ground..

What did the evil doers gain? fame, wealth or peace?

That flower sacrificed for peace and perhaps no trace at all

But oh that sight of the flower…its fragrance…

Can anybody ever wipe it from our hearts and minds….?

Wishes for my friend..

2007-10-25T11:18:00.001+04:00

Wishes and thoughts from deep inside my heart..

To my friend who was once a stranger

To my unseen pal, but very close to my heart..

I can only wish him the best and always..

When rain pours and thunders roll

When there are only black clouds all around..

Remember, there is a sunshine after rain

And lo...a rainbow in one end of the dark sky..

Did you grow weary trekking lengthy mountains?

Does the road seem tougher as each step you take?

Sigh, there are valleys after mountains

And distances are not always the same ..

My Alabaster Jar!

2007-07-23T08:36:00.000+04:00

My Alabaster jar is empty..
And wine glasses are not filled..
Time for my beloved to reach
What shall I greet him with?

Let me fill my alabaster jar with my tears?
Will you sit close to me and whisper?
Can I wash your feet with my hand?
Won't you lift me up and cover me with your arms?

And my alabaster jar is over flowing now...
Wine jars are full...my face is brightened..
Your presence..thats all I long for..
Your breath on me..thats what brightens me..

Miracle

2007-04-18T15:27:00.000+04:00

Waiting and pondering every sunrise
To experience a miracle in my life..
To know how unexpected can happen..
Oh! my brains cannot fathom how it take place..

As I took a deep sigh I saw the first miracle..
Wont this air get exhausted and from
Where is the never ending source..
Who directs the sun and the moon?
And who designed the amazing starry sky?

Who blooms the rose bud and touched it with fragrance?
Who draw the paths of the bees and the flies?
Tiny sparrows ,wood peckers and pigeons
Who satisfies whenever hunger strikes them?
And coded their language and framed sweet melodies?

Who teaches the new born baby to cry?
How does man gain wisdom and knowledge?
Why does he cry of immense joy and laugh at others sorrows?
Why is he different from his own brother?
And why are all these called miracles?

Foot Prints

2007-03-21T12:40:00.000+04:00

When every sandstorm blows, I fear the foot prints you
left will be covered off...
On the fall of every raindrop, I doubt whether your
tears will be washed away..
Each time the earth shakes, I sigh thinking the
place where we sat together will vanish..
When life becomes hectic, I wonder whether I will be able to
place your footstamps among million others...

Still gazing at your footmarks, you left in my heart..
And my heart refusing to enjoy the rain, the showers and the dew...
Realizing that the steps you left behind was on stony tablets..
Not man, the rain, or the tremors can ever wipe out..
Your scars from my heart....

Crushed Spirit

2007-02-13T15:56:00.000+04:00

Why thou….broken heart!!!…why are you crushed again?
In spite of knowing that you are helpless…
In a world, huge wide and fathomless..
Why thou hold a crushed spirit, pain and bruised..?

Don’t you know that your tears are salt less??
And your cries and shouts of pain are voiceless??
In the midst of pride, prejudice and arrogance..
Thy shouts are only mumbles and whispers…

Let thy tears gather and rise up…
Turn into a deep and angry roaring sea…
Let thy sorrows get immersed in that ocean…
Then you will find your ecstasy and bliss of solitude…

My Shining Pearl!!

2007-01-30T11:18:00.000+04:00

In my jewel box of friendship,
I like the most my sweet tiny pearl..
Not because it was bought for a great price
Or because of the time I spent for finding it

There are diamonds, gold, and precious stones..
Each of them I paid a fortune to attain..
They boast about their value and substance
And their beauty never satisfies my eyes..

As I was one day, lazing in the sea shore
I saw this pretty lil pearl of mine..
It was amazing, even safely inside its shells
Irresistible was its glow, its splendor and beauty..

Though it lies at the bottom of my box…
The very sight of it alone gives me immense bliss…
It’s radiance is special, like the first gleam of sunshine
Sparkling brilliantly as the time passes by.

Letter to my Dad..

2007-01-28T17:00:00.000+04:00

Dad,

I missed you when mom and brother tried to get me married off
at the age of 18 because there was no one to look after me. I
believe your presence was with me when I fought aganist all the
odds and decided to continue my studies no matter what....

I missed you when I took up my first job, when rest of the
world tried to discourage me by telling "there is nothing much
you can do by working". Your words and advices which I gathered
in a short period gave me the boldness to face all the resistance...

I missed you on my wedding day..when I spelt wedding vows to
my partner..tears were rolling when I realised that there is
no one in this world to replace my father and when my marriage
happened as if it was nobody's business...

I miss you each and every day when people accuses me, points out
my inefficiencies.. I realise better that there is no one to defend
me and you are not there anymore in this world to comfort me...

And now I miss you each and every moment...and I wonder why
I didnt tell you in person, atleast once 'that I love you more than
any other person in this world'

Susha

I am one among them..

2007-01-03T11:05:00.000+04:00

I gazed and gazed at the sky,
To get hold of bright twinkling stars,
To give feast for my eyes, to admire their shine
But I didn't find one, they were all covered by clouds
And my eyes filled with tears, and heart with despair..

I was too immersed in my grief and pain
Sorrowed by the lost and the missing
Later when I grew weary and bowed my head...
To my surprise I realized that "I am one among them"

Faded X'mas

2006-12-21T08:24:00.000+04:00

I’d rather ……………

Miss you than making another as companion...
Miss your smile than seeing new grin...
Miss your glance than perceived with new eyes...
Miss your breath than being sniffed upon.

And now …Christmas time is here

I’d rather..

Miss your laugh than hear the jingling bells...
Miss your touch than feel the chilling snow...
Miss your whisper than soft sung carols...
Being in your thoughts than celebrating season.

It is snowing now…leaves fall and then flowers bloom
Bonds are made, some sustained, some plucked off..
In my heart, the space where you lived is still warm...
I’d rather miss you and live in your thoughts...
Wishing on this X’mas Eve you were with me...

Mamma..

2006-11-14T13:32:00.000+04:00

"Gosh...Its 6:30..Now I have to rush..You have given me too many responsibilties God..Children have exams today...Even I have some important meeting...I promised my teachers that I will be there today at 9. dot.." She thought...She saw her husband already making breakfast and tea..." God!! thank you for giving such a wonderful man in my life...If it was not him...No one else can understand me other than him..." She smiled at her husband thinking how lucky she was to get a partner like him...

" Well children!!" she came to the room where children were sleeping..." Sleeping like a log"...she told to his only son.." You have grown up so much and why cant you get up early in the morning and study?? See...I could see the light in Mathew's house from 4.A.M. onwards...If you sleep like this you can become Mathew's servant...Oh God what all should I see in this life??" She screamed at him..to notice that her younger one is trying to find out what in the world is happening.
"Baby get up...you have exams today... I know you have studied eveything yesterday...but still cant you go through that lessons once more"

This was my mom ..a super woman...Who was capable to play the role of a wife, mother, teacher, social worker and what not...This article is dedicated to all the mothers and fathers who are affected by AlZheimer's disease....

She was a committed and faithful wife to her hubby...She was with him in all his tough times..to cry with him and to share his happiness.All his love poured out when her hubby was admitted in hospital due to kidney failure. Long four months she was beside his hospital bed..didnt even care to eat, dint even care to drink, to change clothes..not even she went out of her hospital room...I have even thought..."Mom is soon going to be fed up with this ..This is being 4 months now"..The same day she told me..."Baby I have asked God to give your Dad atleast like this..but living.. I can take care of him...till my life ends.." And out of her despair she went and told the docter "Maam I will sell everything and pay the hospital bills..do whatever you can to save my husband..."

And when he took his last breathe also..she hoped that he will be there ..wont die...And everyone who saw her told.."Your dad is the luckiest person..No women in this world...will have such patience and long suffering..."

She fought with her kids...And all were in good position...She was more than happy to see her younger one employed in a US company. And every increments and promotions she got..mom celebrated..Once she even went to her daughter,s work place...looked everywhere and told "I am proud baby.. I know you will one day achieve great things.."She fought with her little one to send some amount from her monthly earnings to her.."Mom you have so much money and why do you always insist that you need my money" the lil one screamed at her on phone...She never replied but later her children found out that each and every penny sent to her by her children were safely deposited. She was a mother who cared for her children..who gave priority to her children than for her own needs...She taught her children, got annoyed when they disobeyed her, cried when her children chose their own way..She even cried during her children's marriage day ..thinking that her kids choice abt their life partner were wrong.

And now she is in the world of pain. She loves and wants to live in the present but all she can remember is of her childhood days. Mamma, how happy you would have been to see your children all enjoying good life and see them blessed? Dont you want to see your grandchildren..wont your brain ever expand back to the normal to see their sweet sounds? Wont you ever call us by our pet names? Wont you ever be a mom to us?

This is from the heart of your lil one..the one who always wanted to be with you forever..When you are in need mamma..my responsibilities and committments are not allowing me to be on your side..Recently have you been thinking about me mamma? Before you close your eyes for ever and before your journey to be with your loved one..one thing I wish...One day ...atleast for a day..Can you be my old mamma??

Daughter

A rose is a rose...

2006-08-13T15:30:00.000+04:00

I am a rose....a wild rose...
My color is black and that adds to my wildness
My petals are rough that tells my uniqueness
My leaves are pale which tells my dullness
My body is full of thorns which shows my toughness

Scorching sun shining on me
With no compassion made me black
Strong winds blowing aganist me
With no passion made me rough
Hail storms and heavy showers pouring
On me made my leaves pale and lifeless

But friend dont think...dont even imagine
That I am worthless and futile...
They swamp me...the bees and the butterflies
Because they know I have the lingering fragrance...

I am from Bethlehem

2006-07-20T13:25:00.000+04:00

“I am from Bethlehem”… This answer I got from my client’s banker when I asked her “Where are you from”? I was thrilled to hear that…For those who read this it may not be a huge surprise or a matter to ponder. But for me it was like …one of my dream come true…Suddenly for 5 minutes I started admiring the beautiful lady who was sitting in front of me…Observing her carefully and her adorable and graceful gestures.

It was my dream from childhood, to visit Bethlehem, to see the place where Jesus was born. When I was relocated to Dubai, U.A.E, I always thought that some day I will be able to visit that place. But understood the reality that never in my life I will be able to see there. In gulf newspaper Palestine news have utter importance and usually I used to give a deep sigh after reading the same. I have seen, met, talked with many Palestinians and this thought …..the idea of someone seeing near to that place never hit my mind. And there she is …”I am from Bethlehem…”I think she understood that I am amazed…She suddenly added”I am a Palestinian”…..

Suddenly I felt my imaginations started wandering….I felt that it is some relative of Jesus Christ who was sitting in front of me…What made me admire that lady so much…

Later in the day I told my husband “I saw a lady who was born in Bethlehem” he was like “so what”? But I don’t know maybe I have thought about that place so much…maybe the manger, the bright shining star on the Christmas day, three kings who came to see Jesus might have caught my attention from my childhood…..

While I was still thinking about her and that place…she called me “Susha…your letter is ready” …I thanked her…gave her a warm wish and thought…till now I am not sure whether I can see Bethelehem..but at least I saw one person who was born and brought up there…..

2006-07-04T17:32:00.000+04:00

Ever since I had the maturity to know what is wrong and what is right...I think I was alone. When I was studying in kinder garten classes also I used to overhear my class teacher telling about me to my mom..."If only you can give a little attention for her ...for her studies..."I used to gaze in wonder when I was in high schools ....parents of all my friends coming to the school during exam days and asking them how the exam was...feeding them....I stand in one corner of the school and give a big sigh thinking always how good it was if my mom or dad was there with me...feeding me...teaching me...But I knew...that wont happen and if I study it will be good for me...coz nobody bothered about how I was living and what I was doing...

Today I am married and run my own business....and there is no much difference in my life...Things are happening in my own offices, house, home without me becoming much a factor of that. Decisions are being taken by many...which can effect me also...but me not knowing...What in the world is happening??

Everybody need me for their issues and I help everyone regardless...help in form of money...help in form of service ...But finally understand that when I have issues nobody is there to help me...

And today me having everyone but still living a very lonely life...I cried a lot...in the morning...and after minutes of crying I think I regained boldness and confidence....a strength to move forward in midst of mockery and rejection...

Looks like God heard my prayer...I closed one of the biggest deal for my business...

And gosh...for the last few days I was dreaming that a very efficient friend of mine will come over from his home land and take over part of my official responsibilites. But today looks like he is worried about the future and he is having a second thought about joining my company...Looks like God wants me to do everything alone...

Hey common Sush...your dream is to have a business empire which extends in all industries..."Dont be a dreamer...but a dream builder"...I heard someone talking to me...So here I am ....I am going to build my dreams alone.....All alone...with the help of God...

Can't Believe !!

2006-07-01T16:20:00.000+04:00

Three years before, I didnt know anything about online groups or blogs.One day while watching TV, saw an url of a yahoo group and hence tried to take a membership in that group. That was the begining. Due to so many issues, had to leave the first group where I became a member.

My good friends supported and my two friends along with me started a new yahoo group called Daffodils In Desert. During the initial stages, more than support we three got resistance and doubts from all the members who joined this group. Maybe because of our strange group name..people even started asking...will daffodils bloom in a desert?

But today I am proud our daffodils indeed bloomed in the desert. Now our yahoo group has over 90 members and now we are well known in this middle east. We have members everywhere and last two weeks we conducted a free Medical Camp for the poor and the needy in UAE..I am proud...I am overjoyed...

Wishing and praying that this group where I am a part of will achieve greater heights.....

Me...

2006-06-21T10:44:00.000+04:00

All my friends have blogs...Always thought about having some space where I can write down my most personal thoughts...Thanks for the blog....I am Susha, like to be alone...like to enjoy happiness and suffer sorrows alone....

Past 27 years, I dont have anything to boast about...no lists to write down that Susha owns all these...blessed with a loving husband....and a handful of lovely friends....thats what I am all about...My boast is on my God who created me...its only because of his grace....